Saturday, September 27, 2014

A play based on Sophocles’ “Oedipus Rex”
© Eso A. B., 2014
Act Three

Prince Creon:
I don’t believe it!
King Oedipus threatens my life.

His son, Eteokles, blames me
for helping his twin Polyneices
steal his sister Ismene from him
as if I am the one who lays with her.
My lovers are being scared off

and are leaving me.

What am I guilty of?
Is it that my son Haemon lays with Antigone
and Eteokles is jealous?
I told him, you have your flute.
Go, whittle it.
Let us see which one of you
bears the kingdom its fourth leg
and secures for Thebes a future.

I am betting that the tribute

of reindeer underbellies will be increased
once I lose my scalp
and scared shit Haemon is told
prove yourself abler than his father

Prince Creon, King Oedipus is furious
that on your way to Thebes
your men did not
tenderize Tiresias.

Tiresias, dead meat that he is,
has taken courage of the religion of democracy,
and publicly blames the King
for the troubles of Thebes.
We do not know what to make of it.

The priest’s words are strange.
He speaks of dildoes greased
with olive oil and mustard.
He tells the King that to save Thebes,
he must pull the nail off his yod,
and all Thebes listen to King Oedipus yodel.
King Oedipus says it was you,
who first told him to seek out the priest.

Prince Creon:
The King accuses me and Tiresias
of plotting against him?

Can you believe it?
Oedipus may have his reasons,
But why should I?

That is what the King says.

Prince Creon:
Is he in his right mind?
Why should leg three of a tripod
make all fall if it can’t rise
and become King itself?

We do not always understand
the reasoning of the court.
Look! Here he comes the King.                  

(Enter King Oedipus.)

King Oedipus:
Well, well, Prince Creon!
The happy man who would,

if he but could
tax with tribute even the Sun.

What did you give the Sun's priestesses
along with the fur vests?
Was it a barbeque set?
A marinade of reindeer meat
for an all out gang bang tribute
for the pleasure of butchers and hunters?

Don’t look surprised to see me.
It was you who persuaded me

to seek out that murderer of children.
It was you who advised Tiresias

to mock me for not holding to a promise
made in jest long ago.

It is you, you and Tiresias,
who tell everyone it was an oath,
and that it saved the children of Thebes.
Why else would that old fool mutter,
that I’ll find the truth and the murderer
only if I bite off my finger?
Is he crazy?                 

Prince Creon:
King, you’re making this up.
Go find yourself another clown
to listen to the words you fart.
Indeed, do you begrudge
Thebes the nail of your yod?

King Oedipus:
You’re a traitor.
You stink before you’re dead.

Prince Creon:
I am neither guilty, nor a traitor.

King Oedipus:
You’re wrong if you think you’ll escape
having your joints twisted
and fingernails hammered,
just because you’re the Queen's brother.
I know where you hide your inventions
to extort from the people of Thebes
ever more furs.

I, too, have a pair of mitts
of hedgehog fur
to stroke your cheeks with.

Prince Creon:
I’ll earn my punishment
if you prove my guilt.
But, c'mon, Oedipus!
First offer Thebes the sacrifice
you promised Tiresias
give us the nail of your yod!


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